where do I run when everything feels heavy?

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I kept searching for an exit, only to realize the only way out was in

I just recently came across a post asking "Where do I run when everything feels heavy?" That question hit me like a wave one day: When do I run when everything feels so heavy? It wasn’t just exhaustion—it was the realization that no matter how far I went or how hard I tried to outrun the pain, I always ended up face to face with myself. There was no hiding left, no comforting distraction to cling to. Just me, sitting in the middle of the weight I could no longer pretend wasn’t there.

And suddenly, the question changes: not “Where do I run?” but “What am I running from?” And most of the time, the answer is: yourself. The pain you never processed. The grief you buried beneath productivity. The versions of you that you abandoned while trying to be okay. You realize that the escape isn’t real because no matter where you go, you’re still there—still hurting, still hoping, still waiting for someone else to fix what only you can face.

There’s no one else to save you, no perfect place to hide, no distraction strong enough to outrun your own thoughts. You look around and everything feels too far, too loud, too hollow. And then you look inward, almost as a last resort. You realize the only person left to turn to is you. It’s a terrifying thought, but also—oddly—an honest one. Because maybe, just maybe, this is what healing starts to look like: not running, but sitting. Not escaping, but staying. Not needing, but meeting yourself fully, even in the mess.

You become your own place of safety, not because you’re perfect, but because you’re willing. Willing to be with yourself in the storm. Willing to feel it all. Willing to stay. And sometimes, that’s the bravest thing of all.

With light, Rhea 👣🦋


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