i'm sorry for being distant, i've been struggling

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Sometimes distance isn't silence—it's survival. And reaching back out is the first brave step toward healing

I didn’t plan to drift away. It started slowly—missed messages, unanswered calls, postponed plans—and before I knew it, I was wrapped in silence, not just with others, but with myself. I kept telling myself I was just tired, just busy, just needing a little space. But deep down, I knew it was more than that. Something in me was unraveling, quietly, beneath the surface. The days blurred together, and even the things that used to bring me joy started to feel distant, like echoes from a version of me I couldn’t quite reach anymore.

The hardest part was not knowing how to explain it. There was no clear reason, no dramatic event to point to. Just a quiet, persistent weight that made everything feel harder than it should. So instead of reaching out, I retreated. I told myself people wouldn’t understand, that I’d be a burden, that it was better to wait until I felt like “myself” again. But that version of me never really came back—not in the way I expected. And in the process, I know I left some of you feeling confused, hurt, or shut out. For that, I’m deeply sorry.

I’m learning that struggling in silence doesn’t make me stronger—it just makes me lonelier. For so long, I thought I had to hold everything in, to figure it all out before I could be seen again. But the truth is, healing doesn’t happen in isolation. It happens in those quiet moments when someone says, “I’m here,” and means it—even when I have no words, no smile, no energy to offer in return. I used to think vulnerability was weakness, but now I’m starting to see it as the doorway back to connection, to myself, to the people I unintentionally left behind.


And now, I’m finding my way back—not all at once, but piece by piece. Some days are still heavy, but others have light breaking through. I’m learning to forgive myself for needing space. I’m learning that it's okay to say, “I’m not okay,” and still be loved. If you've ever felt like this too—like the world got too loud, and you had to step away—I see you. This is for you. You’re not alone, and you don’t have to pretend you’re fine to be welcomed back. You’re allowed to come back simply as you are. And so am I.

With light, Rhea 👣🦋





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