ghost of me

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 Inspired by the song ‘Multo’ by Cup of Joe

C

There are moments in life when we feel a lingering presence, not of a ghost, but of a past version of ourselves—the one who was motivated, inspired, relentless, and vision-minded. It’s like being haunted by the memory of a person we once were, a person who woke up every day with a fire inside and an unshakable belief in the possibility of dreams. I remember the days when I was driven, full of energy, and unstoppable. But now, I wake up feeling like a shadow of that former self, haunted by the ghost of my past motivation, constantly reminded of how much potential I once had and how far I’ve fallen. This ghost both pushes me to reclaim what I’ve lost and serves as a constant reminder of how much I’ve allowed myself to slip into.


I listen to the Cup of Joe’s “Multo”, and while the song speaks of love, to me it’s about the ghost of my former self, the one that was so driven, so certain that success was within reach. But now, the ghost of that self lingers in the background, a constant reminder of what I was capable of and how far I’ve fallen. It’s not a typical haunting. It’s not about regret; it’s more like the unsettling feeling of being haunted by the memory of who I could be, but no longer am. Each day, I fight to recapture that same intensity, that same drive, but I feel trapped, unable to reach the level of motivation I once had. This ghost pushes me forward, and yet, it keeps me looking back, asking, "What happened to you?" It’s not easy to accept that the person I once was may not be the person I am now, but this haunting is not something to fear.

Hindi na makalaya
Dinadalaw mo 'ko bawat gabi
Wala mang nakikita
Haplos mo’y ramdam pa rin sa dilim

The ghost of my past self isn’t just a memory; it’s a guide, reminding me that the strength and determination are still there, waiting to be reignited. The ghost of my past self doesn’t have to weigh me down. Instead, it can serve as a guide, reminding me that the fire is still within me, even if buried under layers of doubt and distraction. I don’t need to be haunted forever by the person I once was; I need to dig through those layers, reignite the flame, and let that ghost guide me toward becoming the person I am meant to be now.

It’s not about going back to the past, but about moving forward with the lessons learned, reclaiming my motivation, and building something even greater than before. The haunting isn’t something to fear—it’s something to embrace as a reminder that I’m capable of more than I sometimes believe.


With light, Rhea 👣🦋

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